When going on a first date with a man, there are a few things that women should pay attention to in order to better understand who they are dealing with. By paying attention to these factors, women can make more informed decisions about their potential romantic partners.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, emotional-wellness coach Akriti Dhir of Inner Versus Wellness shared, “When going on a first date, there are a few things women should look for in men to help determine whether a potential relationship might work. First, what you’re looking for in a date. There’s a need to know—whether it’s to get to know the person better, to discover intimacy and vulnerability, or to provide a pleasant distraction from a breakup.”
She suggests, “During a date, pay attention to how the man makes the space comfortable and safe for you. Do they respect your boundaries and get your consent before initiating physical contact? Go easy and don’t judge them for initial jitters. Next, See how they make you feel in conversation. What questions do they ask and how interested are they in your life story, or do they just talk about themselves? Do they give you a fair chance to order, pay, and share your own perspective? Finally, Pay attention to how the date makes you feel overall. What do you walk away with—feeling good and wanting to see them again, or do you feel uncomfortable and want to end things there? Remember, a first date is an exploratory journey, so Enjoy the experience and look for positive signs.”
Hitesh Chakraborty, spiritual healer, relationship expert and founder of ISSAR, insists that there are three things to pay attention to when meeting a man for the first time to get a better understanding of what kind of person he is –
- His communication style: It is important to see how he communicates with you. Is he a good listener? Does he ask questions about you? Does he seem interested in what you have to say? Does he interrupt you or talk over you? These are all clues to his communication style and you can tell that he values your thoughts and opinions and most importantly, does he pull out a chair for you to sit down or open a door for you? Only a person with high integrity can do such things.
- His body language: Pay attention to her body language during the date. Is he making eye contact with you? Is he inclined to listen to you? Does he seem relaxed and comfortable around you? These are all signs that he is enjoying the date and is interested in getting to know you better.
- His attitude towards other people: Notice how he talks and behaves with people around the place like waiters, guards etc. Always remember people who don’t treat people well can’t be trusted. This type of person will treat you the same after the honeymoon period of the relationship is over.
Entrepreneur and poet Megha Chopra advises, “How he talks about his family, especially his mother. A real man will talk innocently about his affection for his mother and emphasize his “admiration and reverence” for the women in his life instead of making you feel insecure.” Does he put his phone away throughout the date? If so, it’s a subtle “appreciation” of you and your time, and a sign of his desire to get to know you better, more deeply. What does he order? His food choices exhibit some idiosyncrasies that otherwise remains unknown for some time. A man’s true personality is laid out on a plate—whereas pizza says “I-make-no-effort,” steak with a side of vegetables suggests “thoughtfulness. Take your cues.”
Adding to the list of things to consider on your first date, Frozen Fun co-founder Vasuki Punj recommends:
- The first thing a woman should notice about a man is how well he can make eye contact with you as this shows confidence and communicates that he is fully present in the moment.
- People should be polite and respectful towards employees. It shows character.
- Pay attention to her nails and hair. It reflects his hygiene standards and indicates that he takes care of himself.